Mock-Spaetzle and Mock-Cheese-Spaetzle

Boil and strain any kind of egg noodle/pasta. Add a teaspoon or so of vegetable oil, and stir.

Note: This works best with broken fettucini, but rotini or standard egg noodles work too. If you can find it, use actual Spaetzle, which sometimes can be found in the foreign foods aisles of some grocery stores.

While the noodles are still hot and slightly wet, put them into a bowl. Mix in a few dashes of nutmeg, ground black pepper and salt - use as much or as little as you like. Stir with a wooden spoon until well mixed

Add a few tablespoons of softened butter, and stir. The noodles will become slightly sticky, and serve well with a spoon.

I like to add a dash of dried parsley for looks at this point, but it's totally optional.

For Mock-Cheese-Spaetzle, mix in some glassed onion bits. Put it in a bread pan, and top it with some mozzarella and/or cheddar. Heat it in an oven until melt.ed.

Roast Beast Toppings

1-2 lbs Mushrooms
1-2 lbs Baby Carrots
1-2 Onions
A fistful of Parsley, finely chopped
Beef Stock/Broth
Ground black pepper

Boil some mushrooms in beef broth until cooked.

Cut the onions in half, then slice the halves and separate the layers. You should have long, thin pieces.

On a high heat, sear the carrots in a pan. Cook it good and hot until the carrots start turning brown/black on one side, then add the mushrooms (w/out the broth), onions, pepper and parsley. Once the onions turn glassy, add just enough of the broth to cover the bottom of the pan. Scrape anything that got stuck to the bottom of the pan and mix it all together. 

Remove from heat and serve as a side to dark or roasted meats. 

Convert this into a soup:
Bring the Broth to a boil, and throw a fistful of noodles into it. Once the noodles are cooked, add the veggies back into the broth.

Convert the veggies into a stew:
Instead of adding noodles, use diced celery, large potato pieces and some pieces of left-over roast. Once the potatoes are cooked, add the veggies back to the broth. Done!

Danny’s Roast Beast

This is based on a couple of German recipes for Sauerbraten & Roast Venison. It is best served with spaetzle, a German egg noodle. I’ll include a recipe to imitate a more gourmet spaetzle variant at a later time. I vary the seasoning depending upon availability, remember that everything here is approximate, and I often omit two or more ingredients, such as onions and mustard seed. I never leave out the salt, bay leaf or the red wine – it wouldn’t be right without those.

3-6” Fir or Spruce Twig, washed well
- Alternately: use a small handful of fir or spruce tips
1 Onion, coarsely chopped
1 cup dry red wine (or more if you like)
1-2 bay leaves
4 dried juniper berries
1 Tsp Mustard seed
¼ tsp Allspice
10 black peppercorns
2lbs Venison or Beef
- You can use a leg, back strap, tenderloin or any kind of red meat roast as long as it is low on gristle

½ tsp Salt (I like using ground sea salt, but it shouldn’t matter too much what kind you use)
2 tbsp butter (unsalted)

Marinade the Beast:
In a medium saucepan, bring the red wine, bay leaf, juniper berries, mustard seed, allspice and peppercorn to a boil. This helps to release some of the flavors into the marinade. Pour the hot mixture into a large bowl and add the onion and fir/spruce.  Let it cool a little, we don’t want to cook the meat at all yet. Add the meat while the marinade is still warm. It should be enough to just cover the meat – if not, add more red wine. Cover and refrigerate for 24-72 hours.

Sear the Beast:
Remove the marinated meat from the bowl, pat it dry. Sprinkle salt on it (or grind it if you wish). In a large pot (ideally one that can be baked), melt the butter and sear the meat on a medium-high heat. Make sure to get all sides, leaving the meat to sit for a while on each side. The pan should be hot enough to cook only the outside of the cut while leaving the center cool and raw. This seals the moisture and flavors in, while a making firm, flavorful outer crust.

Optional step: Before searing, rub an excessive amount of salt into the outer layer of the meat. Let it sit for no more than 10-15 minutes, and then rinse it thoroughly. This further retains moisture and tenderness in the meat, while making the crust savory/salty. Be very careful not to over-salt it or let it sit too long though, as the salt will overpower the flavors.

Roast the Beast:
Pour the marinade into a separate bowl and set it aside for now. Remove the fir/spruce form the sieve and discard. Put the rest of the sieve contents into the pot with the meat. And simmer for 3-5 minutes. Add the marinade back to the meat, and bring it right to boiling. Use a wooden spoon or a whisk to loosen the fond (the scrapings from the bottom of the pan) and stir it into the marinade. Reduce the heat to low and simmer the meat for 2 hours. Preheat the oven to 165F.

Optional Step: If you want the beast to be fall-apart tender, put the whole pot in the oven at 165F for a few hours before continuing.

Set the meat on a rack in the oven to keep it warm while you work on the rest. (if you slow-roasted it, use a baking sheet instead)

Roast Beast Gravy:
In addition to the Roast Beast Marinade, you’ll need:
½ cup Sour Cream
2-3 Tsp cornstarch
OR
½ cup Sour Cream
2-3 Tbs butter, or oil
3-5 Tbs flour

Strain the Marinade one last time. Discard the contents of the sieve. Mix the sour cream into the marinade. At this point you have two options:

Cornstarch:
Thicken the gravy with cornstarch – In a separate bowl, mix cornstarch with just enough cold water to dissolve it to the consistency of milk. Bring the Marinade to a boil in a saucepan, then rapidly whisk in the dissolved cornstarch. Remove from heat as it begins to thicken.

Roux:
Roux can be used instead – melt butter or lard or any kind of edible oil in a saucepan, whisk in flour until it has the approximate consistency of toothpaste or buttercream icing. Continue to heat and whisk until it is as golden brown as you would like it (darker works best for this recipe). Remember, though; the longer the flour cooks in the oil, the more roux you will need to thicken the gravy. Once the roux is just right, begin to slowly whisk the marinade into the saucepan. Remove from heat as it begins to thicken.

Extra Points for Roast Beast toppings:
Boil some mushrooms in beef broth until cooked. Sear some carrots in a pan. Cook it good and hot until the carrots start turning brown/black on one side, then add the mushrooms, diced onions, and finely chopped parsley. Once the Onions turn glassy, add just enough of the broth to cover the bottom of the pan. Scrape anything that got stuck to the bottom of the pan and mix it all together. Set it aside.

Serve the Beast:
Pull that Roast out of the oven and put it on a platter. Slice the meat into ½-1 inch pieces.  Lay it next to a nice pile of spaetzle (or mock-spaetzle) and top it all off with the carrot/mushroom toppings and a little gravy.

A couple hour trip to the store

        It's 5:45 AM, it is currently 51 degrees outside.  Over the next two hours, the temperature will actually DROP 4 degrees.  Just East of Yellowstone National Park, my dad and sister are headed out of town.  It's elk hunting time!!  They arrive at their determined vantage point to "glass" the area around 6:20 AM.  Within a few short minutes, the elk are in sight, it's a smaller herd, but they are elk.  There is only one problem with these elk, they are hanging out on private land.  Now our hunters must wait and see where these four legged walking grocery stores are headed.  In the distance, they can hear an elk bugle.  They notice that three little "rag horn bulls" are headed up the river, in the direction of the public land.  They jump back in the truck to head these elk off.  My dad and sister are in luck, these elk walk right through a slice of public land that sits in the middle of private land.  Not only did these unsuspecting beasts walk right into the kill zone, they were only 100 yards away!!  Now to wait and get the perfect shot.

       The elk are now in a position to be taken.  My dad shoulders his 30-06, lining the sights up on the lead bull (the one on the left pictured above).  He gets the right sight picture and squeezes.  The lead bull is now in a pile on the ground, DIRECT HIT!  My sister lines up her shot on the newly appointed lead bull (now about 40 yards further out).  She is using her grandpa's 270win.  This elk only got to lead the herd for a short moment before, he too was piled up.

      The current time 7:15 AM.  In roughly an hour and a half, my sister and father "shopped" for OVER 400 lbs of fresh meat.  

     To some people, this is the best way to fill your freezer for the upcoming winter.  If you were ever a kid going hunting with your dad, the thought probably crossed your mind; "who decided that we should put hunting season in late fall/early winter?"  Well, whoever decided that, knew that the upcoming winter was the best time to have a full supply of fresh meat.  

The Basics

My name is Tim.  I have been a licensed amateur radio operator since 2015.  I live in the High Desert area of California up in the mountains.  We are prone to wild fires, floods, and occasionally snow.  I currently live near one of the most dangerous dams in the country, it is man made, and sits on a fault line.  I have found radios as an extremely reliable form of communications.  Here is where I will share my limited knowledge and things that I learn as I go.